From Overthinking to Owning It: Building Visibility (and Well-Being) with Chris Dyer

Hi, welcome to the Courage to be Visible

podcast, the podcast for heart-centered entrepreneurs who

are done hiding in the shadows and ready

to step into the spotlight.

I'm your host, Andrea Stenberg.

I'm a video marketing strategist and a big

believer that showing up as your real self

is your secret superpower.

Each week, I get to sit down with

interesting entrepreneurs who are showing up authentically, being

their true selves, and building businesses that serve

people as well as having an impact on

the world.

If you're ready to grow your business, attract

more perfect fit clients, and make a difference

in the world, this is your sign that

it's time to step up.

So today, I am here with Chris Dyer.

And Chris is a multi-dimensional heart-to

-soul health coach who helps busy business owners

reclaim their health and well-being.

Welcome, Chris.

Hey, thank you, Andrea.

It's great to be here.

So I always start off these interviews with

saying, asking people, what do you think?

Is it about visibility that is so difficult

for so many people?

Well, I think a lot of people overthink

what visibility is.

And yes, it can be showing your face,

or it could actually be written communication.

Visibility can show up in the digital space

and also in the in-person space.

So it's a necessary skill to embody when

you are a solopreneur or trying to market

a business.

Yeah, I agree.

It's something absolutely necessary.

So how about you?

Has this been a challenge for you as

you've been growing your business?

What's interesting is, and you've for a little

bit.

So my business has actually taken quite a

lot of iterations and evolutions in the past

six years.

What's interesting is I'm returning back to remembering

who I actually am with my background.

But what's interesting is being able to pick

up a lot of useful skills while I'm

trying to figure it out.

And marketing has actually been one of the

amazing skills that I've been able to pick

up in building an audience.

And the experience with my husband trying to

help him grow his business, he didn't have

that skill set.

And I recognize it's very much a challenge

from people who maybe have worked a W2

job or have worked into corporate.

And then they want to branch off and

be their own boss or build a business.

And if you don't have an audience, you

don't have a business.

So the marketing piece is so critical in

those first couple of years.

So I'm glad, I appreciate and celebrate the

fact that I have been able to adapt

and grow and build an audience slowly, organically

over these past six years.

So that when something, I have a couple

of projects that I'm working on.

Now I have people who know, like, and

trust me, and we understand that that's, that's

part of the ability that you get to

grow in the credibility of being visible.

Yeah, I agree with you that that is

such a big piece, because a lot of

people who start a business later in their

career, and it's like a business, often it's

a passion business, but they come in with

it, they have the skills and the knowledge

to do whatever it is they do.

But they kind of don't always think about

that marketing piece, that visibility piece.

And then they, they struggle and think it's,

I don't know, like, and it was kind

of even the same with me, even though

I'm a marketing consultant, sort of feel like

I should just know how to do this.

And yet it's, it's like any other skill,

you have to learn and you have to

figure it out.

Yeah, it's it's definitely the confidence skill.

And it's just like a muscle, it gets

stronger over time.

It's being willing to have courage and just

be willing to embrace it and find safe

spaces where you can stretch those legs of

visibility.

Yeah, and I think, so it's also like,

like, it's not just a skill, it's also

a kind of a mindset, like there's definitely

a mental piece in being able to translate,

you know, sort of what's in your head

and what's in your heart and putting it

out there.

And so like, you talk about, you know,

helping busy, busy business owners reclaim their health

and well being.

One of the things like, you know, I've

certainly figured out that, like, kind of the

two things go together, your business and your

health and your well being and your marketing.

So how do you, how do you help

people with that?

Well, you know, health and mindset, actually, like

you just said, it starts from within.

And it's interesting that we, all of us,

I mean, particularly if you're a middle aged

adult, you already have a certain amount of

skills.

If you've worked in a job where you've

had to give presentations, or maybe you've been

in a supervisory type role, or maybe you've

been a teacher, an instructor of some kind,

you already have the ability to be visible

and get in front of people.

If you're a parent, guess what, you know

how to command the attention of your children

or other members of your family to get

the job done.

So I mean, it really is selling.

Every time you open your mouth, you're potentially

selling.

Every time you get in front of a

classroom, you're potentially selling.

It's not necessarily, maybe it's not transactional, but

you're selling an idea, you're selling information, you're

giving content.

So I think it's really shifting the mindset

on what it means to just be comfortable

with being a place of authority.

And knowing, maybe you know, just a little

something more than the person who's listening knows.

I mean, when you're in a conversation with

somebody else, you're sharing information, and it's a

conversation.

And again, I think we overthink what it

is that we're trying to say or convey.

And that is a mindset skill.

Yeah, and I think, you know, talking to

entrepreneurs, sometimes I feel like people have an

idea of what's important for their clients, but

sometimes they're afraid to come up and say

it because they don't want to push anybody

away.

Like, you know, if they're, if I'm too

firm on this one thing, there may be

people who don't want to work with me.

Is that something that you've seen or dealt

with?

Well, I think we all do.

I think, but if we don't open our

mouths, and we don't put ourselves out there,

we're not serving anybody.

So, and our job isn't to convince somebody

necessarily that we're, what we have is the

perfect thing.

All we can do is convey, I have

a solution for the problem that you have

today.

And, but if you haven't developed that rapport,

and again, that no love and trust first,

right, in that credibility piece, your credibility is

built over multiple interactions, not usually just the

one.

And if we just show up and share,

I mean, really, we're just sharing the information.

And I think a lot of times people

get caught up in their head and expectation.

Well, if they didn't buy from me today,

that means they don't like me.

Well, no, you know, when in sales 101

is no today doesn't mean no six months

from now, right?

It's, it takes multiple touch points.

And we are so inundated.

We were an overindulgent society with, with content

and information.

Everybody's bombarded with, with content all day long.

And that the being visible from your standpoint,

because I know you, you work a lot

in the video space, you, you help people

show up visibly.

And again, it's going to take 12, 15,

sometimes up to 20 touch points.

Or as they say now, people need to

devour up to three hours of content from

you before they'll even consider to push, you

know, the buy now button.

So it's, you know, we are, we are

a digital economy now.

And so being visible is, especially in the

digital place is very, very necessary.

That helps build credibility, especially when you meet

somebody in person, then you, then you go

to follow them on their, on their social

media handles.

And then you see, you know, all the

things they're saying, and you know, I might

have been talking and dropping social media posts

for a year and you, and you might

be readings like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds

good.

That resonates.

But then the one day I send, oh

my gosh, I need exactly what she has

to offer.

And again, it's like, I didn't need you

six months from now.

But today I'm in a situation where like,

yeah, I'm really struggling.

Boom, there you are at the right place

in the right time.

And I think that's part of what being

consistent with visibility makes success.

Yeah, and also, I think being consistent with

the messaging, one thing that you said, sort

of popped a memory.

And for me, as I remember early on

in my business, when I was focusing just

on social media, not video.

And I remember meeting with a client, and

he said, convince me that social media is

important.

And so I did.

And then he hired me, but he wasn't

committed.

And so he wouldn't do the things I

recommended and then walked away, go, well, Andrea

doesn't know anything.

And it's like, so like, later on, I

learned if somebody said, convince me, I would

say, okay, well, here's a blog post, here's

a video, here's some information, come back to

me when you're convinced.

And then we can have a conversation about

how, not the what.

And I think, you know, have you like,

have you had those kind of conversations with

people?

Oh, of course.

Yeah.

You know, and because we, we have an

abundance mindset, right?

We can allow people to draw their conclusions,

keep loving on them, keep nurturing them.

And then when they're ready, again, if we

feel like we have to convince somebody that

that's not the correct mindset.

And, you know, it's keeping the vibration of

the conversation up high and out of lack

and scarcity.

There's plenty to go around.

And what's meant for us can't miss us,

and it's just a matter of being consistent,

showing up and deliver the message.

And the message will evolve over time, you

know, it'll get sharper and more refined.

And I think that's part of learning self

trust as an entrepreneur.

And that it takes, it actually takes some

inner work to do to get to that

point.

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I totally agree with that.

You know, when I was first learning about

speaking, not even just on video, but just,

you know, on small stages, or big stages

or whatever.

And the coach I worked with had us

do an affirmation every day, write out an

affirmation about our speaking ability.

And I remember when I first doing it,

I was kind of affirmation, like, I believe

in that kind of stuff, but I'm paying

the guy the money.

So I did it.

And I swear, that was the biggest thing

that moved the needle in this program I

was in was just doing the affirmations, because

it really did change the mindset.

And I think I, you work in that

space all the time, but me as somebody

who's very tactical, and very kind of in

the in the real, the sort of hard

edge business world, and not in the sort

of that emotional side, it took me a

while to learn that.

But like, you absolutely have to have to

do both, you can't just be tactic and

no mindset.

But you can't also just be mindset and

no tactics, you kind of have to marry

the marry the two.

That's exactly right.

Well, that's that's the marriage of integrating the

left brain and the right brain together.

Yeah, to your point, a lot of a

lot of people just live exclusively in their

left brain, which is logic, linear thinking, very

strategic.

And that has a purpose.

And so does being creative and imaginative and

allowing some abstract thinking.

And, you know, I love that you were

able to use affirmations, that's actually a really

good tool.

And, you know, we talked about reprogramming the

brain, and in our mindset, because the brain

is neuroplastic.

But and the reason it works is, is

because our subconscious is listening to what we

say.

And sometimes it's the repetition and the consistency

that we keep telling ourself this, and then

and then one day, nobody can say how

or when it's like, Oh, oh, I get

it.

That's what it means.

Right.

And then and then we start creating our

new experience based on these new this new

language is new.

Actually, it's a language of love that we're

learning to speak to ourselves.

Yeah, I love I love that, because it's

it's true about that language of love, because

we also have the language of, I don't

know, bitchiness that we after is off like

that, that negative side that tell you, I

suck.

I'm bad at this.

Nobody wants me.

And if you only listen to that side,

you're going to end up in like fetal

position on the floor instead of being out

there and talking to people.

Yeah, I love that idea of it being

the language of love and self love.

And, you know, like this idea of again,

of mixing that holistic heart centered side with

the business hard nose tactics, and that you

can't have one without the other.

I've come to learn that.

No, in fact, I came up with a

new analogy a couple weeks ago.

There's, there's a call operating system, you know,

some people or businesses, some business models are

just really heavily fixed on transaction.

And then there's a heart centered servant minded

that are in the transformational space.

And the happy medium is in the middle,

right?

Is when people you can't, we can't stay

so transformational and not not live in our

masculine energy and our left brain to meet

people in the middle, meet them where they

are.

That's, that's the sweet spot.

And so and then that also shows up

in our language and our content being able

to display, you know, there's different personality types

and like bank and all these different, you

know, types of individuals that, you know, where

they seem to land, most of all, like,

like blueprint, high action nurturers knowledge that that's

actually what bank stands for.

But it's, it's, it's just understanding where people

are coming from and being able to wrap

that conversation around one thing that like makes

them like, Oh, okay, now you have my

attention.

You're speaking my language.

Yeah, and I but I mean, it starts

with yourself first is you have to be

able to figure out what it is you

stand for what you want to say, and

then having I think, the courage and the

strength to put it out there because it

is scary to kind of stand up and

say, Hey, this is what I think this

is what I believe.

And also, this is what I'm offering.

And this is how much it costs.

Like that is kind of a scary thing.

I know, years ago, my husband, I had

a computer store, and selling a computer was

so much easier for me than selling my

own services, because it was like this thing

over here, you could touch it, and it

wasn't me, it was the box.

And this is what it does.

But when it's my own services, it's a

little bit, you know, if you can't, if

you can't be as objective, at least I

can't, because it's, it's all mixed in with

your kind of personal and how you feel.

And it is, I think, more challenging for

a lot of people.

Well, I mean, just imagine your services as

being in a box, like the package, like,

here's the package.

You know, I understand people like tangible, they

like touchy feely.

So can you is there something touchy feely

that you can include in your package in

your service that they get something?

Right?

Maybe it's the immediate touch point, or you

know what I'm saying?

But yeah, but I understand.

But it's an end to it's the result

you're selling.

It's not necessarily the process.

It's like when you just focus like, oh,

you're gonna you're gonna help me do like

20 amazing videos?

Yes, please.

I mean, right, or, you know, are yours

done for you?

Or do you just help people understand how

to do it better?

Or, you know, show in different ways to

show up?

Like you're going to get this, this, this,

this and this, and you're selling them the

package package.

Yeah, that that is a really good way

of looking at it is that it's still

a package.

It's just because it's your your expertise in

service.

It's still a package.

I love that.

Yeah.

So, so we've talked a little bit about

sort of, you know, the heart of the

affirmations and things like that.

What you know, if we got somebody listening

here, maybe they're a new entrepreneur, and all

of this is kind of a little bit

overwhelming for them.

Where would you say is a good place

for somebody to just get started with the

mindset part of being visible?

Gosh, I would.

Well, coaches are very helpful.

But also there's there's lots of great books

out there.

You know, books are inexpensive teachers.

I've certainly invested in I don't know, probably

a couple hundred books in the last six

years.

As far as being visible.

I think it's practice.

I don't necessarily know that you can read

that out of somebody's book.

It's life is meant to be experienced.

And it's the actual doing starting, you know,

trying to put trying a new way to

put yourself out there, whether it's putting your

first Instagram post or your first LinkedIn post.

And then it's, oh, I can go live.

There's there's some very easy tools that we

have using social media.

And then once you want, you know, when

you're ready to get a little more advanced,

and maybe you need a professional video for

your Web site, maybe you need some professionally,

you know, film content for, you know, a

program you're having come out.

So there's always a low cost way of

getting started.

And I think, you know, I'm not going

to call it a mistake, but I've invested

in a lot of expensive experiments.

Because I've been in a lot of different

rooms where, obviously, people that are marketing, they

have something to sell you.

And I think it's understanding where you are

in your business and understanding what you can

and maybe what you should or shouldn't be

doing at the time.

You know, I remember my very first website,

what wasn't, it wasn't that astronomical.

But the second one was a little I

bit off a little more than I probably

needed to.

But again, I thought that's what I had

to do.

I thought that's what I was expected to

do.

I think it's, I think there's a there's

a lot of discernment that comes with the

maturity of a business owner and an entrepreneur.

And then like, do I need that right

now?

Or do I want that right now?

And of course, everything comes with a price

tag.

So when you're really ready to up your

game in any, any part of being a

business owner, you want to get a coach,

you want to get somebody who's been there

before you who understands who can help you

create the systems and save you money.

Right, save you time and money.

That's what a coach does.

That's what an advisor does.

Yeah, well, and I liked what you said

about sort of getting started.

And then one of the coaches that I

had that the biggest takeaway I got from

everything that I did from working with him

was just pretend you're in a lab and

experiment.

Yeah.

And because up until then, I just thought

I had to get it right out of

the like, right out of the gate, everything

had to be perfect.

And then when it's like, No, experiment, try.

Yeah.

And it's like, Oh, it was a revelation

to me.

And I think that's, yeah, that I mean,

when you're an entrepreneur, you do like you're

going to make this everybody's good.

We're human beings, we're going to make mistakes,

but you have to be okay with it.

Right?

Two really good pieces of advice that were

given to me that I've actually utilized.

The first one is create a private group

on Facebook, and you're the only member, and

just talk to yourself.

Talk to yourself, get comfortable with being on

that cell phone camera.

And then the second one would be turn

on a zoom and record it.

And then go back and watch yourself.

And you can change your mannerisms.

If you mess up, you just you just

do it over again.

So there's a couple inexpensive, cheap, free tools

that you can use to help get comfortable

just being in front of the camera.

Absolutely.

Well, Chris, I feel like I could talk

to you for like another hour.

But I'm trying to keep these episodes short

and bite size.

Before we head off, where can people find

out more about you?

Well, I'm on Facebook, Chris Dyer, and on

LinkedIn, I think you've got my my link

to drop in the show notes, but also

on Instagram as well.

Chris Dyer consulting.

So the three major platforms All right, well,

yeah, I will make sure that that's in

the show notes.

So if anybody wants to, to find Chris

and find out more about about how she

helps with a heart to soul coaching.

Thank you so much for joining us.

And let's all go out there and try

things.